Telling People

Dave Robinson Online

Telling People

This is a difficult one. How do you tell people you have Cancer?

I'd got used to the idea, so it wasn't something I wanted to be 'secret' or 'private'. I did worry about how other people would react.

Work is an important thing and I'm lucky to work for an organisation that know will always be supportive. I told my manager, the Chief Exec and the two Team Leaders in my team. I did this face-to-face. I felt this was the best way. everyone was very kind and genuinely concerned and a bit upset as well.

The rest of my team are never all in at the same time and the thought of getting them all together, or dropping the news during a meeting......."We'll be undertaking system training next Wednesday and by the way I have Cancer" Didn't seem a good idea.

I eventually went for email. Initially, I thought this was a cop-out, but it isn't. It ensures everyone gets the message and they can take it in however they wish. I made it clear that I was happy to discuss it, so not to feel it was a taboo subject. I think this is the best way as people want to show their support and one or two also want to ask questions - perhaps with concerns about their own health.

I told my son in a very matter of fact way. "I've got prostate Cancer, having an operation and all should be okay". He was a bit peeved I hadn't told him about the tests I'd had so far, but I hope he understands.

My brother was told by phone, but that was really to tell him to get a test. Luckily, his PSA came back at 0.1, about as low as you can get - and no need for a finger up his behind either.

I haven't told my mum and I'm not going to. She's perfectly able to deal with it, but I don't want her to. We live 250 miles apart and as I'm only in hospital for 24 hours, she'll never find out.

I'm expecting to be out of action for a month from 23 March, so I needed to tell my musician friends. One, who will remain nameless (Paul Cheneour) told me it was a good job I hadn't decided to buy the house in France I was thinking about! Others told me stories of people they knew who had cancer (and one or two were still alive!), but everyone was great and very supportive.

I got a call from a good friend and fellow musician today, who had found out by reading the blog.

It's a strange balance. On the one hand you want to be open, but you don't want to ram your illness down everyone's throats - boredom soon sets in.

I hope I've done it the right way

Dave

18 March 2018